Every daughter wants a few things from her mother; to be as unique as her, to be as wise, and to be just as beautiful on the inside and outside. My mother, a long time kitchen beautician, has had a strong influence on how I dress and how I style my hair.
I vividly remember how often she switched up her hair with countless cuts, a less than successful attempt at locks, and her many hair color changes. From cornrows, finger waves, asymmetrical cuts and a head full of curls, the one style I never saw on her was her natural hair.
Although I was aware of my great grandmother’s Caucasian ancestry, it wasn’t very apparent in my curl pattern or texture. There had been an ongoing joke between my mother and I, one that would later teach me a lesson about society’s views on hair, that she had “white woman hair” while I had “wooly bush hair.”
When I decided to stop chemically treating my hair my mother had a intense negative reaction. I thought she’d never accept how kinky or “nappy” my hair was when I big chopped. I struggled through learning how to style, straighten, and even comb through my thick hair despite my mother’s beauty expertise.
When I decided to stop chemically treating my hair my mother had a intense negative reaction. I thought she’d never accept how kinky or “nappy” my hair was when I big chopped.
Eventually she came around, often referring her peers to me for hair and product advice and suggestions. I saw my mother’s appreciation for my hair grow as I became more confident in my own physical beauty. I began to feel just as beautiful as I always thought my mother was.
Around 2015 my mother had finally began questioning if she, too should go natural. Finally she did it, my mom did the big chop and I couldn’t have been more proud. Our bond as mother and daughter came full circle through the very thing that had essentially divided us.
After years of sitting in her chair, or on the floor between her legs as she combed and struggled with my hair, I was now her teacher. I was more than excited to share products with my mother, and she was just as excited to share my natural hair blog with her friends.
Anyone that says hair shouldn’t be treated with respect or glorified for it’s natural beauty is wrong. The sisterhood and inner beauty shared within the natural community starts with the mother and trickles down from there. If you didn’t grow up natural how did your transition or big chop affect your mother or sisters? Comment below and let us know how hair has affected your relationship with your mother and your favorite hair moments.
