Today, one of my instagram followers tagged me in the photo below to see if anyone has ever experienced any negative feedback about their natural hair. I, along with more of her other followers, shared stories on how we’ve dealt with the negativity.
She commented me back by saying:
“It always surprises me that it’s women who hate the most. I haven’t met a guy yet who doesn’t like my natural hair. The first thing they ask is “is all that yours?!” Most guys are happy that it’s actually mine.”
Why is that? Why is it that it’s more women than men that bash the natural hair community? I’m not saying that all women are negative, in fact the majority are very supportive, but why is it that negativity still exists when 10 yrs ago 87% of African-Americans relaxed their hair and today it’s just 38%? What do we do or say when someone speaks negatively about our hair? Here a share 5 tips to have you clap-back ready!
1. LAUGH IT OFF
Many people, who aren’t natural and say negative comments about our hair, fail to understand that their words don’t mean anything when it comes to someone who’s confident.
It all starts when we start transitioning. We find a peace within ourselves to embrace and wear our natural hair. We have an unbreakable confidence that NO ONE can break. As our hair grows and gets stronger, we grow and become stronger within ourselves and know who we are naturally.
So, when people try to break you down because of your beautiful, natural locs, laugh because they THINK that their words actually mean something. Just like @disfordivinee said, “I’ve come a long way from having no hair to a nice size fro. Comments are nothing.”
2. ASK “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
No. Really! How can someone SERIOUSLY laugh or slander what God gave you? Why are you so concerned about what I prefer to do to my hair? IT’S MINE! The bottom line is that they aren’t comfortable with themselves. They’re afraid of embracing themselves naturally and are already battling with their self-esteem that they want to bring you down with them. Just go ‘head and brush the negativity off them shoulders.
3. EDUCATE ‘EM REAL QUICK
People continuously comment on things that they’re clueless about. They don’t understand. It is our job to correct and teach those who, obviously, are clueless.. with a smile.
It always surprises me that it’s women who hate the most. I haven’t met a guy yet who doesn’t like my natural hair. The first thing they ask is “is all that yours?!” Most guys are happy that it’s actually mine.
4. REMAIN POSITIVE
Just because someone speaks negatively about you, doesn’t mean that you have to give them the same in return. No need to get riled up, King or Queen. That’s exactly what they expect and want you to do. Respond, with a smile, by saying, “Well, we all have our preferences,” or “I love it and that’s all that matters.” Kill them with kindness. Positive vibes only.
5. IGNORE THEM
My great-grandmother used to say, “A person can’t argue if they’re arguing by themselves.” Instead of wasting your energy on a person, don’t give them the satisfaction of stealing your positive vibes. Keep it cute and let them express their unwanted opinions alone.
Remember, negative comments can’t break you unless you allow them to. Love yourself and be confident in who you are because self-love is a beautiful thing. Wear your crown with style and grace because YOU ARE ROYALTY.
Have you experienced any negative comments about your crown & glory? How did YOU handle it? Comment below.
Photo Credit: Sista Gerls With Curls taken by Jeff Stiggs
