Ok, so have you ever just been minding your own business… you know the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and there’s a great sale at your favorite store? While you’re in the store someone walks up to you and says, “Wow! I’ve never seen hair like yours before… can I touch it?” Don’t you just want to yell to the top of your lungs “NO!” and walk off? Well that’s how I feel at least when someone asks me this question (which is quite often).
I’ve taken the time to think about all of the offensive comments I’ve heard over the years since being natural. I decided to keep it at 10, but there’s so many that if I decided to give you all that come to mind you’d be scrolling forever. So here’s my top 10:
“Is this the in style right now?”
Ok, while my hair may be something you don’t see everywhere doesn’t mean that I’m wearing it this way to set a fashion trend. My hair ain’t going nowhere. Please understand that my hair is not a trend, but a conscious decision I made to embrace my own natural beauty and not succumb to European standards.
“You’re leaving the house with your hair like that?”
Umm yes, because I’m not here to please you or anyone else when it comes to how I look when I step out of the house. If it bothers you that much, look away. Thanks.
“Your hair looks great, but I could never do that whole natural thing. I’d look a mess.”
This statement drives me crazy because the people that say this have been accustomed to this one standard of beauty despite them not being born with that type of hair and thinks that somehow their hair’s natural state is hideous. It’s quite sad in my opinion.
“You’re not going to be able to get a job with your hair like that.”
Well, I’m currently employed so how valid can this statement be? In this day and age we are seeing more people wear their natural hair at work. Our hair is super versatile. You can wear your hair in a cute updo, low bun, curls out, or a protective style. All styles are still natural. Your hair has nothing to do with your work performance.
“Is your hair real?”
Well as far as I know it is.
“Wow, your hair is so soft… I wasn’t expecting that.”
Tell me exactly what you were expecting then… please. If you say you were expecting a brillo pad then please stop speaking to me.
“Does a comb ever get stuck in your hair? Do you even comb it?”
Sigh. Just because I don’t have a straighter texture of hair does not mean that I do not comb mine. YES I COMB MY HAIR. Ugh.
“You have good hair because your curls are pretty and defined.”
I see we still have a long way to go with this “good hair” term. (This is specifically for the black community). Everyone’s hair texture is different. And that’s ok! That doesn’t make anyone more or less beautiful. As long as your hair is healthy, your hair is good too! Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
“You look like a boy.”
This comment was said to me a lot when I did my big chop. Since when is short hair only for guys? Women that rock TWAs or short hair in general are the bomb and that is not up for debate. Grow up.
“I think you should straighten your hair more often. It’s pretty.”
To me this saying is the equivalent of “Wow you look really cute today!” Now you’re wondering if you’re ugly every other day. Just because I choose not to straighten my hair often does not mean that my curly hair isn’t pretty. Because that’s basically what I gathered when you tell me I should straighten my hair more.
These are the top 10 comments that are offensive to me, but some people may not get offended by these at all. If you are one of those people that gets offended by these comments know that you are beautiful and keep walking straight past anyone who has something to say.
Let’s try to be more conscious of the things we say to people everyone. If you don’t have anything nice to say, you probably shouldn’t be opening your mouth to say it. If you’re hesitant to ask any of the questions listed above, then it may be offensive. Think before you speak!