In this day and age, the joys of bringing two different cultures together can be a beautiful thing. I quickly learned this back in 2013, when I decided to open my mind up to dating different races. My natural hair journey began at the end of 2012, while transitioning under weaves and wigs, I met my amazing partner.
Meeting my boyfriend during my transition was simple at first. I always made sure my weaves and edges were LAIDDDDD! The only thing that bothered him about my weaves was that he couldn’t “run his fingers through my hair.”
The only thing that bothered him about my weaves was that he couldn’t ‘run his fingers through my hair.’
A few months into our relationship I was taking my weave out and he saw my natural hair for the first time. I can honestly say he fell in love with my natural hair before I did. I’m glad he did because it was that added push I needed. He suggested maybe just leaving my weave out and wear my hair because to him it was beautiful.
This simple suggestion would be the start of a beautiful journey. When we first started dating he would always ask, “Why don’t you wear your natural hair?” As a retired weave connoisseur, explaining how sew-ins work was hard enough… but to now explain twist outs, bantu knots, and satin caps…. Was he ready, or the even bigger question… was I?
I slowly started to stop wearing my weaves and he was very eager to learn how this would all work. He’s supported everything from my product junkie habit to even whipping up a few homemade deep conditioning masks for me.
I can honestly say he fell in love with my natural hair before I did. I’m glad he did because it was that added push I needed.
All in all he’s been a great supporter of my natural journey and here are a few tips for women transitioning or natural who are dating interracially.
SHARE THE PROCESS AND DETAILS
Don’t be ashamed or afraid of how you will look. At the end of the day as my favorite saying goes, if he doesn’t accept you at your “bye Felicia”, he doesn’t deserve you at your bomb twist out. Sharing details brought us closer because it was something else to bond over. I think I lucked out because my boyfriend was so attracted to something different, that he wasn’t used to. He will have questions… answer them… share every aspect.
A lot of men in general aren’t too thrilled with the sleeping process. Let’s be honest who wants to go to sleep with Aunt Jemima every night? I do understand that the silk cap is a necessity but purchasing a silk pillow case was the BEST investment I have made since becoming natural. It definitely helps with preserving some sort of appeal during bed without looking like you’re ready to serve some pancakes when you wake up! You can pineapple or sleep on your preserving style.
Embrace your look. Confidence is key. Confidence is alluring, it’s sexy and it exuberates off of you. What man doesn’t love a confident woman!! Every woman has an off hair day, just make the best of it. So what your twist outs didn’t dry or your Bantu knots were a fail… Rock your hair the best way you know possible and OWN IT!
The most important part about being natural is to enjoy it! If the person you are dating regardless of their race, can’t get with whatever hair journey you choose chuck them a deuce. Always be with who makes you happy!