I started going natural three years ago, during my senior year of high school and finally cut my relaxed ends in January 2014. My journey so far has been interesting to say the least. While people may say that it’s just hair, I’d have to disagree. Some think we aren’t defined by our hair, but I’m not too sure about that either. Allow me to explain.
When I decided to go natural, none of my family or friends understood what that really meant. I didn’t actually know what it meant myself. For the first few months I was berated with questions like, “What are you using in your hair?” “Why so much water?” “What oils do you suggest?” “Why don’t you relax your hair anymore?” and my personal favorite comment, “I liked your hair better straight.”
For some reason I wanted approval from the people around me, not knowing that universal approval is pretty impossible.
It was extremely overwhelming. I was only beginning my journey and really didn’t know how to answer these questions. All the attention only made me more uncomfortable, and being the only black girl in my class definitely made things worse. I felt misunderstood, out of place, and awkward with my new look. For some reason I wanted approval from the people around me, not knowing that universal approval is pretty impossible.
I assumed that going natural would help me stay under the radar and remain unnoticed. Boy, was I wrong! The comments, inquiries, and attention never stopped. It took me a long time (literally, years!) to put the pieces together. No matter what, people will always have something to say. I continued with my natural hair journey in spite of the critics. It took time for me to ditch the buns and become comfortable wearing my hair out and really being proud of what I had accomplished.
Fast forward to today. A subscriber asked me via email how I got “comfortable” with my hair. Looking back, I actually had to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. You have to be an actor. You have to force yourself into the comfort zone. I started small, rocking my ‘fro at the grocery store, building up my confidence, wearing my hair out at school, around my friends, and you know what? The more I accepted myself, the more I radiated positivity, and the more positive responses I got in return.
There’s no use wishing or waiting for anyone to accept you. You’ve got to love your hair and get comfortable with it. Accept it for what it is, embrace it, and keep on pushing, guys. It’s totally worth it.
